How to Resist Passive Aggressive Behavior from Sabotaging your Love

A passive aggressive partner will often employ sabotage as a means of getting what they want in a relationship.

For example, a passive aggressive partner may do a bad job when asked to clean the house, so that the other person will “learn” that if they need something done, they should do it themselves.

Another example is sabotage of a diet or other plans for self-improvement. The PA partner might bring home sweets and encourage the dieter to indulge. This kind of sabotage is so childish that it seems unbelievable, but it is a PA’s way of keeping the person to themselves and preventing them from being attractive to others.

Similarly, the PA may sabotage the projects and goals that threaten the PA’s status in the home or relationship. They may use emotional barbs, often disguised as humor, to bring their partner’s self-esteem down and discourage them gaining power and status.

This behavior needs to be stopped in its tracks, but how do you stop sabotage when it is so subtle?

Go with your gut feeling on things. If you sense that you are being manipulated, or that your goals and projects seem to be taking forever despite your efforts, consider your situation. Recognize patterns in your partner’s behavior that may be clues to sabotage.

It is important to not only recognize the behavior but also communicate with your partner how it effects you and your needs. Ask them to look at their behavior in a serious light and let them see that there are implications that putt he relationship in danger. Do not accept the blame for the behavior, because passive aggression is not caused by outside factors – it is their problem. The only thing you are responsible for is your reaction to the behavior and the choices you make in confronting your partner.

Neil Warner

Neil Warner

I'm the “relationship guru,” and my main focus is to increase the quality of love-based relationship experiences. In this ground-breaking guide I offer useful strategies on healing a difficult angry relationship with love and compassion. You don't have to stay in an unhealthy relationship one more minute. Let us share our tools with you today, by getting your copy of the ebook: The Art of Living with a Passive Aggressive Husband.

 

  1. Deeski04, 06 October, 2010

    Wow, this post explains my husband to a T. People look at me funny when I try to explain how he sabotages me, especially my diet plans, and think I am just making excuses for lack of self control and that my husband is being nice, by bringing home fattening goodies when I am trying to lose weight.

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