Learning from abuse to be happy with yourself? You Bet!

How to be happy with yourself after abuse?

overcoming abuse makes you happier
This post only contains Lucy Millen's words, in her Kindle book review:
"Well, this is a different perspective...when I was in the saddest depth of my marriage, humiliated by his cruel words and believing I couldn't do anything right, the last thing in my mind was having hope that I would not only survive the pain but be proud of myself...I had spent so much time waiting for any kind of appreciation and recognition from him, I ended up completely believing I was such a sad piece of a woman as he said of me. If eventually, I got rid of him and his negative words, who would want to be with me, right? the answer was: nobody! but at least, no one was going to say humiliating insults to me any more.... I wished to be alone, and that was enough.

This book begins where others leave when it is asking me: "What was the meaning of going through that ordeal? Your pain had a meaning, and you need to recover it!" well, for me, survival (bruised and alone, but alive) was the only objective of that time; now looking back, I can see that my steps to survival had a germ of self-sufficiency that I couldn't see then.

I can understand now his petty motivation to abuse me, I can see how sometimes I allowed him to be nasty; I can see that I was going through the pain to learn how to be the person I am now...and all that allows me to feel so much joy! Joy of being alive, of being resourceful enough as to survive; of being creative enough as to erase the past pain and embrace the wonderful person I am...There is no other person I will submit to as I did before with him; now I accept only to connect with people who can appreciate the warrior I am.

It is not that I would recommend going through abuse to get to know who you are, but learning that you are a great person because you have survived emotional abuse and learned your own worth, is a great lesson. This book helped me recover and treasure that lesson; I will not forget it ever, because I paid a steep price to get to know who I am!"

This review is from Lucy Millen, commenting on the book: Stopping Emotional Abuse: the New Workbook to Recover and Grow Resilience from Emotional Abuse (Kindle Edition)

Can you identify and make yours her words?   "I was going through the pain to learn how to be the person I am now!" 

  1. janet, 21 August, 2013

    This woman I so respect and all she says is such truth which I completely resonate to after my journey over the past 4 1/2 years….to be happy with just ourselves and sadly or however you want to look at it what it did was take us back to ourselves…..and the knowledge that we will never permit this kind of behaviour to darken our doorstep again! I

  2. Rum Punch Drunk, 24 August, 2013

    Emotional abuse is so damaging that many people still carry it around
    from childhood into adulthood. Certain words and/or phrases can
    instantly trigger reactions, so it’s a very difficult thing to deal
    with.
    Sometimes it’s not until we come out the other end of it all,
    that we can see that we truly are strong, we are survivors and all that
    abuse was down to the abuser have serious issues and not us. I know for
    sure, that I will also never allow another person to have such control
    over my life again, ever – not for love or money mate.

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