Passive Aggressive Husband

The Chinese warrior story:

Some months ago, a visited this expo of the Chinese warrior statues. They are all well done, in different postures and so detailed you can think you see a real person in each of them....The story tells us that some King ordered them made to protect him in death.

So here they are, hundreds of them, all aligned in the original position....getting eternally ready for a war that will not happen again.

Why am I concerned with this expo? because I can see, in the frozen army, a constant determination to fight back a long past battle....Sometimes, people in our lives around us, are still defending themselves from a bitter past war....that happened in their childhood. It left indelible marks that force the person to be always defensive, or always avoidant, and ready to counter attack.

In this case, it's easy for us to admire the workmanship of this task of building a clay army....and its futility. And, if we extend the comparison, perhaps we recognize that we have people around us still fighting their past battle. Still defending against an enemy who was threatening, hostile or abandoning so many years ago.... still keeping systems of fight or flight in red alert...If you know a person that reacts with exaggerated emotional responses to any slight in the present time, you can know that you have a warrior fighting the last war in front of you....How to demobilize this person?

Probably, that will be explained in another posting...meanwhile, can you think how to withdraw from this old war?

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