Fair Fighting at the Holidays Can be Fulfilling, Not Frustrating

Couple hiding angry feelings
Couple hiding angry feelings

Wait, you want to be fair fighting at the holiday season, right?

Family tension, long to-do lists, in-laws, calendars packed with events and parties... the holidays are fraught with possibilities for conflict.  Yet most people will tell you the last thing they want to do at Christmas is fight, again.   Everyone wants the holidays to be a time of peace and happiness and conflict is often viewed as exactly the opposite.   Conflict has gained such a negative reputation with most people believing that all fighting is bad, and only people who never fight are truly happy.  This is impossible though as we are all different with different thoughts, feelings and desires.  But just because conflict is inevitable, it does not have to be negative: you can do peaceful confrontation, or fair fighting.

 

Conflict is simply what happens when people communicate to one another that they have needs that are not being fulfilled.   As with any communication, it can be healthy and effective, or damaging and unhelpful.  Many people have developed poor skills in conflict, and with the coming together of family members at the holidays, there is often old conflict that was never resolved still hanging in the air like the strains of your least favorite holiday carol. We cover up and use a straight face, not to let others know that we are confronting our loved one at each moment we can have privacy. What is the fun, here? Not to be found...


Learning to handle conflict in a healthy way, how to “fight fair” can change not only your experience of the holidays, but your relationships in all aspects and seasons of your life.  Make changes for yourself and your family this year by learning about the communication behind conflict and how to fight fair. And begin using the kinder, softer strategies that allow you to get what you want and make others happy at the same time, learning from "How to Fight Fair in Your Marriage and Win!"

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