When your friends are attacked, how bad do you want to stop the attack?

When I feel that “My Friends are Attacked,” the dream I’m yearning for is… mutual admiration.

80 % of the responses expressed dreams consistent with ideas such as:

1. “Why does he has to show always that he is superior to my own friends? There is always this silly competition and the only one who loses respect is me!”

2. “I wish that when I have my friends and family come to my house, my husband would join me in giving them an inviting and welcoming environment. I deserve that and so do they.”

3. “My partner does not defend either me, my friends, or even himself from any attack. For my friends, this would not be an issue if they would somehow find the inner strength to stand up and fight their own battles. However, for myself, I am tremendously disappointed that the man I love will not speak up for me or even for himself. It may be part of his religious culture to turn the other cheek and avoid conflict, but I think that this position costs him his self respect. It makes me question his manhood, not to mention how far his pacifism would really go. If someone threatened to kill both of us, would he let them? This is not my way. I would do anything to save him.”

4. "I would like to feel that he enjoys my friends as much as I do, instead of criticizing their presence. That is no longer such an issue with him and his jealousy that makes them too uncomfortable when he is home, blocking them to come over or even call the house.”?

  • “He sees the reasons why my friends are important to me.”
  • “I am free to connect with whomever I wish without his passing judgement.”
  • “We share the same friends and love and understand them as the elected family that they are.”
  • “He understands that they have a place in my life and that they are a source of comfort. I can stand up for them and be praised for doing so.”
  • “My friends are respected because they are my friends.”
  • “We let each other work on our relationships with our friends.”
  • “When I see my friends, our time together is happy and relaxed.”
  • "I simply need to enjoy both my friends, and my partner, and not be forced to choose!"

Is this also a truth in your own life? Now that you know that having valued and respected friends is an important part of your life, and that being married does not mean forgetting your friends, how would you strengthen their place in your life?

Neil Warner

Neil Warner

I'm the “relationship guru,” and my main focus is to increase the quality of love-based relationship experiences. In this ground-breaking guide I offer useful strategies on healing a difficult angry relationship with love and compassion. You don't have to stay in an unhealthy relationship one more minute. Let us share our tools with you today.
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